What About The Alchemy?

A Blog By TADA

Vlog: 11/23/20 — November 24, 2020
Vlog: Weekend Recap — November 23, 2020
Human Zoo – 100 Word Story (from 400 Writing Prompts) — June 20, 2016

Human Zoo – 100 Word Story (from 400 Writing Prompts)

If you fell down a rabbit hole,what do you think you’d find?

Years ago, my mom asked me to go to the park with my sister. The park wasn’t far from our house, so my sister and I rode our bikes over and played hide and seek. I looked for somewhere to hide and saw a big tree with roots that I could crawl under. I crawled and crawled, until…I fell into darkness and landed on cold floor. I was in a cage with strange-looking beings staring at me. They had green skin and black eyes. I couldn’t understand their words. They watched me like I was an animal in a zoo.

stock-illustration-4839397-aliens-watching-humans-in-zoo-atmosphere
photo credit: iStock by Getty Images

 

Tinder the Musical — June 12, 2016

Tinder the Musical

I’ll gladly say it: I hate Tinder. I hate online dating in general, but I really hate Tinder. Major kudos to the lucky ducks who have successfully found love in the internet cesspool of left and right swiping because I tend to find more creeps and disgusting vulgarities than actual guys interested in something substantial. I rarely look at Tinder these days and when I do, I usually regret it. Today was one of those days.

I remembered a conversation I had with my friend Sarah. When I went to Chicago last year, she was the one who showed me around town. One of the times she was visiting home in good ol’ Springfield, we were at the local donut shop and we thought about how funny it would be to write a musical about Tinder. After checking my Tinder today and being thoroughly disappointed, I made this:

tinder the musical

Still reading: 11/22/63 by Stephen King
Almost finished reading: Attempting Normal by Marc Maron (I recommend it in audiobook form)

Fortune Cookie Thoughts (from 400 Prompts) — January 29, 2016

Fortune Cookie Thoughts (from 400 Prompts)

Write ten original thoughts that will be stuffed inside fortune cookies for strangers to read. NOTE: Most of these are just pieces of advice and don’t really tell you a fortune. But then again, I don’t remember the last time I received a fortune cookie that actually had a fortune in it.

  1. Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. (good advice from my mother).
  2. A real friendship can withstand anything.
  3. It is possible to love someone from a distance. Especially when the distance is for your own benefit.
  4. Don’t believe people who have to tell you they’re a nice person using their words inside of their actions.
  5. Take care of yourself, no matter what good or bad is going on in your life.
  6. Be as brave in person as you are behind your computer keyboard. (shoutout to all of my troll friends)
  7. Sometimes you’re the spoke, sometimes you’re the wheel.
  8. You will never look back and regret the times you stood up for yourself.
  9. If forgiveness meant you had to forget the wrongs someone else made, then the phrase wouldn’t be “forgive and forget.”
  10. Trust that if someone is meant to be a part of your life, they’ll stick around. If they leave, it’s for a good reason. If they’re meant to return, they’ll find a way back.

Nugget of Wisdom: A former friend of mine used to say, “The Universe is unfolding as it should.” I don’t know where that came from, but I found it’s calmed me in a panic attack or two.

About a month ago, I came across this awesome mantra. It renders a very simplistic message: I love you. I forgive you. I release you.

Currently reading: Attemping Normal by Marc Maron. I’ve been on a serious Maron kick as of late. I’ve been listening to a lot of WTF episodes and watching Maron on Netflix and I highly recommend both. I’ve found that the things Maron says really resonate with me. The best kind of art is the art that I find I can relate to and connect with.

kaiser cookie
All this talk about fortune cookies reminded me of the time my friend Kaiser got a fortune cookie without a fortune in it. Photo cred: J. Kaiser

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 48 — October 28, 2015

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 48

In the United States, the Department of Transportation is in charge of time zones. You feel a new time zone should be created. Where is it, and what would it be called?

To make this more interesting, I’ve made the central character a girl in her late teens, early twenties. Think Reese Witherspoon from “Legally Blonde.”

To Who It May Concern,

My name is Leslie Middleton and I’m a part of the Delta Sigma Delta Chi sorority at Missouri State University in St. Louis. I’m writing to you today with a proposal. I would like the United State of the USA to have one more timezone. It would be called “Party Time” and every day it would be allow more daylight, irregardless if it’s Daylight Savings Time. The time zone would be rove throughout the country around sunset. It would actually reverse the sun for a few more hours. This purpose would be solely for partying and offering the perfect light for taking selfies with friends. I think that offering this would literaly raise moral as a nation.

Think it over and text me on Kik, k?

Kthnxbai

Leslie

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 47 — October 20, 2015

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 47

Well hello again, it’s a been a minute.

Write a headline for the day after the world ends.

Because if you're going to retroactively chastise those who somehow survive the apocalypse, soften the blow by saying "goofed" instead "fucked."
Because if you’re going to retroactively chastise those who somehow survive the apocalypse, soften the blow by saying “goofed” instead “fucked.”

Courtesy of The Newspaper Clipping Generator

You’re launching a sound recording of life on Earth into outer space to act as a emissary for the human race. Name the five specific sounds you will record.

  1. A bird chirping
  2. A baby’s laugh
  3. An analog clock’s hands ticking
  4. The waves of the ocean
  5. A toilet flushing

Convey the third sound in detail. Don’t bother using words.

Tick, tick, tick, tick. (this is onomatopoeia)

Your recording may include a short inscription on it, the only text that will accompany these Earth sounds. There is space for only six words.

Our life as we know it.

Currently Listening To: Angel Haze – Back To The Woods (entire album on Soundcloud)

I’ve been an Angel Haze fan for a few years now and her music never ceases to impress me. Her newest album, Back To The Woods, is spectacular. I highly recommend it.

A moment of nostalgia for the beautiful green trees at Roaring River State Park.
Speaking of woods, here’s a moment of nostalgia for the beautiful green trees at Roaring River State Park.

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 46 — September 9, 2015

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 46

What is at the top of your list of things you want to do before you die?

As incredibly nerdy as it sounds, I would really like to do one of those ancestral DNA tests and locate the places my ancestors came. Some of it would be confirmation of places I already knew (Czech, Irish, Swedish, German), but it would be cool to discover more of my origin. Genealogy has always been a thing that heavily interested me.

The words on your tombstone

“Guys, I was supposed to be cremated.”

Back in June, I took my film camera with me to Roaring River State Park in Cassville, Missouri. Seeing this picture of the serene and calm spring water makes my heart feel so full.
Back in June, I took my 35mm camera with me to Roaring River State Park in Cassville, Missouri. Seeing this picture of the serene and calm spring water makes my heart feel so full.

Currently thinking about: Springfield Roller Girls. I’ll be attending my second roller derby bout at 6pm on Saturday. So stoked! Hands down, it’s my favorite sport to watch.

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 45 — August 11, 2015

Blog Challenge: 642 Tiny Things to [blog] about – Prompt 45

In the last three weeks, I’ve returned from my trip to San Francisco only to work my butt off, do some standup, and then prepare for my trip to Chicago next week. I’m beyond excited, but it’s left little time to sleep and relax and maintain my social life. It just so happens that I have some time on my hands today and an itch to do some writing. So, without further ado, here is my 45th prompt from 642 Tiny Things To Write About by the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto.

Today’s weather forecast, if the television station fired its current talking head and hired a poet.

eighty-two degrees
the coldest it’s gonna be
for the next few days

Write a review of your imaginary autobiography/memoir.

“A beautifully written piece of work. Devine has an uncanny ability to write entertaining stories involving Tinder dates.” – New York Times (pats self on back obnoxiously)

“Wait a second! I never said these things! I don’t understand why she always does this.” – Tess’ mother

Currently thinking about: Snapchat

Are you on Snapchat? If you are, you should add me. Teedeeasaurus

Coming Soon!

Last week I was interviewed for the blog We Are Brazen about my style and I also got to do a photoshoot. Once my interview is posted, I’ll make sure to share it!

Here's a sneak peak of the photoshoot. Cred: We Are Brazen
Here’s a sneak peak of the photoshoot.
              Cred: We Are Brazen

Comic Quote — July 29, 2015